Empathy is empirically shown to build deeper connections with other people. According to an article in The Journal of Patient Experience called “The Science of Empathy,” “Empathy plays a critical interpersonal and societal role, enabling sharing of experiences, needs, and desires between individuals and providing an emotional bridge that promotes pro-social behavior” (J Patient Exp, 2017).
But empathy has a downside, too.
For those who operate in high-intensity environments, such as emergency responders, healthcare providers, and social workers, to name just a few, the expectation to constantly feel empathy can lead to burnout. In The Experience of Empathy in Everyday Life, published in Psychological Science, the flagship journal of the Association for Psychological Science, an article stated, “Some researchers have argued that empathy leads to increased well-being, whereas others posit that it leads to burnout and social withdrawal.” (Depot et al., 2021). Yet, despite its profound importance, empathy isn’t always readily accessible. There are times when fatigue, stress, or personal struggles can dim its light, making it challenging to connect with others on an emotional level.
According to An Overview of Empathy by Dr. James T. Hardee, M.D., “The origin of the word empathy dates back to the 1880s, when German psychologist Theodore Lipps coined the term ‘einfuhlung’ (literally, ‘in-feeling’) to describe the emotional appreciation of another’s feelings.” In a constantly mission-critical environment, however, staying in “emotional brain” can lead to retraumatization, secondary trauma, and exhaustion.
Fortunately, another doorway is available when empathy isn’t an option: curiosity. Here are four ways to use curiosity as a bridge to deeper emotional connections when your empathy tank is running on fumes.
1. Ask Open-Ended Questions.
Curiosity begins with inquiry. Instead of jumping straight into an empathetic response, try asking open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share their thoughts and feelings.
Questions like, “What has been the most challenging part of your day?” or “How are you feeling about what happened?” can invite deeper reflection and engagement. This approach allows you to gather insights into their experience without the emotional weight that may overwhelm you.
2. Practice Active Listening.
When empathy feels out of reach, focusing on active listening can be a powerful alternative. This means fully concentrating on what the other person is saying rather than preparing your response or worrying about your own feelings. Use verbal nods and affirmations to show that you’re engaged. By being present and attentive, you create a safe space for them to express themselves, which creates connection even in the absence of empathetic emotions.
3. Cultivate a Sense of Wonder.
Reframe your mindset to see interactions as opportunities for learning rather than emotional exchanges. Approach conversations with a sense of wonder about the other person’s experiences and feelings. By cultivating this mindset, you shift your focus from emotional response to curiosity about their perspective. This not only preserves your emotional resources but also enriches your understanding of human experiences.
4. Share Your Own Experiences.
Sometimes, the best way to bridge the gap when empathy is difficult is to share your own experiences. By recounting a personal story that resonates with their situation, you create a connection based on mutual understanding and shared humanity.
This doesn’t require deep emotional engagement; instead, it offers a relatable context that can enhance a connection without the weight of empathizing deeply. While sharing your experiences is a valid option in lieu of empathy, this option is one to use sparingly as it can read as taking the focus away from the other person and putting it onto yourself.
Conclusion
While empathy is invaluable in forging human connections, it’s not always sustainable, especially in mission-critical environments. When empathy is unavailable, curiosity serves as a vital alternative. By embracing a curious mindset, asking open-ended questions, actively listening, and sharing experiences, we can continue to build meaningful connections without draining our emotional reserves. Curiosity doesn’t replace empathy, but it can certainly complement it, allowing us to maintain relationships and support others even when our empathy tanks are low.
Source link : https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/the-science-of-stuck/202410/the-problem-with-empathy
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Publish date : 2024-10-16 17:02:45
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