Amidst swift socio-political change, workplaces are increasingly seen as spaces where people seek care, concern, and connection from others. But workplace empathy appears to be in short supply. At the end of 2023, employees in the U.S. were significantly less likely to feel that someone at work cared about them than they were four years prior. Still, empathy continues to be recognized as one of the most important leadership skills. Why then do we continue to have an empathy problem at work?
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The leaders I coach have cited seven recurring reasons for their empathy shortcomings. While empathy may not be easy for everyone, it’s often misunderstood. In this post, rather than reiterating the case for empathetic leadership, I will dispel the persistent myths that hinder leaders from being as empathetic as they’d like to be. I’ll then propose a powerful way to sustain empathy: disarming yourself and others.
Myth 1: “It takes too long.”
Reality: This is the most cited excuse. While time constraints are a real concern, investing time in demonstrating empathy can yield long-term benefits in team cohesion, trust, and productivity. New research helps us understand why some people are more interested in being empathetic. “Empathy Investors” are motivated when they see positive outcomes of their efforts. When done consistently, empathy doesn’t need any “extra” time. Empathy is an attitude, not a task, and it can be expressed non-verbally and verbally. A sincere and quick, “I understand how you feel,” can go a long way.
Myth 2: “I’m not good at empathy.”
Reality: Empathy is a trainable skill, not an inherent trait. With dedicated practice, leaders can develop their ability to connect emotionally with others. Important research published this year suggests that simply observing others’ empathetic behaviors can boost (or reduce) our compassion. This means that empathy may take less effort than you think. When I coach, I encourage my clients to adopt an empathetic growth mindset. “I’m not good at empathy yet,” opens the door for learning and growth.
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Myth 3: “My ‘business outcomes and KPIs are far more important.”
Reality: Research shows that empathetic leadership fortifies business outcomes because employees feel valued and are therefore more likely to contribute strategically and productively. New research suggests that empathetic and compassionate workplaces help innovation to flourish, too. Achieving business outcomes and being empathetic are not competing factors but rather additive, with empathy improving business results; prioritizing one over the other is a false dichotomy.
Myth 4: “Too much emotional labor, too emotionally taxing.”
Reality: This is valid; practicing empathy can be emotionally draining. Researchers suggest that practicing the “right kind” of empathy can reduce the emotional tax. Emotionally laborious empathy is associated with self-oriented perspective-taking, which refers to imagining yourself in someone else’s shoes. The “other-oriented” stance of empathy is far more mutually beneficial. Here, you imagine another person’s perspective, read their emotions, and try to understand them in general. Other-oriented empathy tends to lead to compassion and concern, which is reciprocally advantageous. Fascinating recent research shows that people perceive more emotional labor in the short term, but in the long term perceive more positive consequences of their empathetic efforts. Just understanding what empathy is and how it works can reduce the risk of empathy burnout. And, mindfulness practices and adopting a growth mindset meaningfully reduce the impact of compassion fatigue. This research advocates for thinking of empathy as a long-term investment.
Myth 5: “Showing empathy is a sign of weakness.”
Reality: Empathy is not a weakness, but rather a sign of strength and emotional intelligence. In today’s diverse workplace, empathetic leaders are better equipped to resolve conflicts and inspire their teams. Acknowledging and encouraging emotions in others creates a psychologically safe and inclusive environment where team members feel valued. But yes, expressing empathy can feel vulnerable, which can make it feel like a weakness. The fear of vulnerability can be reduced via self-reflection and interestingly, by talking about empathy at work.
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Myth 6: “We don’t do that here.”
Reality: Empathy complements, rather than thwarts, cultures that emphasize assertiveness and competition. Leaders who prioritize empathy understand that their team members are not just resources but individuals with unique needs, motivations, and aspirations. Empathetic organizations enhance employee engagement, reduce turnover, and attract top talent. A balanced approach that values both performance and interpersonal relationships leads to organizational resilience.
Myth 7: “I don’t have enough power to influence.”
Reality: Even in environments with pronounced power differentials, leaders can influence and create positive change through empathetic leadership. Empathetic leaders recognize the inherent worth and dignity of every individual, regardless of their position or status, and strive to create a supportive and equitable workplace where everyone feels heard and valued. Empathy motivates prosocial behavior, as well as a desire to help others. So even without formal power or a “big title,” empathetic behavior encourages others to care for people; empathy has ripple effects across an organization. Empathy is not just a privilege of the powerful.
Empathy is a long game, but there’s no excuse to avoid it. I understand that it can be unnatural or exhausting, but as with any other leadership competency, empathy can become a habit with some practice. One simple way to sustain empathy is by disarming yourself of the notion that you have to be perfect or get it right. I like to think of empathy as an attempt to understand another person. Whether or not you get it right is often less important than the effort and concern you show to truly see and value another person. Disarming yourself has a reciprocal effect. When you show that your defenses are down, others are more likely to put down their defenses. From here, you can have a meaningful and productive conversation. Empathy is developmental, not static. You will at times seize an opportunity to show care, and other times you will miss the chance. Your guide to sustained empathy is regular self-reflection and kindness towards yourself to get up and try again. Instead of any of the above excuses, I would rather hear my clients say, “I missed the chance today to be the empathetic leader I know I can be, but I will try again tomorrow.”
Source link : https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/transforming-the-status-quo/202407/dispelling-common-myths-of-empathetic-leadership?amp
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Publish date : 2024-07-30 13:02:56
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